"My soulful heart
Devotedly hopes for the best.
My fearful mind
Sleeplessly hopes to avoid the worst."
Iris (an original poem by Mahiruha)
Boy of the flowers
Mariner of the neon haze
You sit at one terminal,
You don’t need eyes
Or even fingers,
The rhythm of the flowers,
In the plain.
I think of that
When I think of you.
Outside the city
I see you as a circle of mystery,
Ringed with sapphires
With every color
Of the sea,
Topaz and coral.
Throughout the sky
And the night
Repeats your various names,
And does not stutter.
I play within your boundaries,
I discern your give
Your tides of
Remind me of my temporary
Orchids in the earth.
Beyond the wires
And the tunnels
And the flashes
Of the disillusioned
I will sell my life
To the silence,
For silence is the first letter
Of any alphabet,
And an open smile
Is the last.
Between the poles
Of silence and smile
I am Monday’s beggar,
And Sunday’s memory.
(Do you hear me?
In my shell,
My music does not last,
Nor does it in fact
Belong to me.
It is an echo
From a library
In the dusty street.
I will return my songs,
And pay all fines,
Break all claims
If you tell me
The ship is ready,
I have all the provisions
We will ever need
And you know the way.
We will trace
Of the waters
And offer irises
From the rim
Of the unknown.
Sri Chinmoy and audiotapes
I was reading in Sri Chinmoy’s book “My Weightlifting Tears and Smiles” about how he often listens to Bengali singers while doing his weightlifting. He said will often leave the tape player on in a different room, so that he will not be overwhelmed by the intensity of the singing, but he still kind of hear it, so that gives him joy. Many of the songs are dedicated to Mother Kali.
He mentioned that the souls of the singers have all come to him, some of them are still on earth, some have passed on.
I have always been fascinated by Guru’s immediate, implicit access to all the souls, on any plane of consciousness. He can identify with any human being, in any world.
One of the things that motivates me as a seeker is my urge “to know”, to be able to have access to these worlds, to see what’s really happening behind the scenes. I’m not talking about opening the third eye or acquiring any kind of occult power. I just mean expanding the capacities of the heart so that the Cosmic Game is something I can comprehend and feel more deeply.
Guru said once that if we have a tape of him holding meditation, an audio cassette, and he finishes talking and just meditates in silence, that that meditation power is also recorded in the tape. He said, if I remember correctly, “My silence is very, very powerful. It is all recorded there.”
Maybe that’s why I like our weekly “quarantine meditations” over the phone. We all dial in, and then we’re all on the same phone line and we sing, we read Guru’s books out loud, and we meditate in silence together. When we meditate in silence, I feel Guru’s presence as strongly as I’ve ever felt it in my life. Guru manifests himself through ineffable silence.
A poem by Guru
604. My soulful heart
"My soulful heart
On squirrels, Buddhas and butterflies
Squirrels in Germany have brown fur and are rather shy. My neigbor who is an elderly woman feeds the squirrels with sunflower seeds. Dear squirrel buries some of them in my balcony pots only to get them out again nibble them with relish. To my surprise one seed sprouted and - voila a sunflower is growing.
But here the story does not end.
I bought a Buddha statue and placed it on my balcony as well. Since I filled the pots with flowers and leave them near the Buddha statue, our "shy" squirrel became curious and examined the statue by licking his feet. I happened to stand near the closed window, so I had all the fun watching him or her deligently licking the Buddha`s arm and further even his face.
I went for a run after a long time of not going really out, spending time indoors. The sun was too generous and with temperatures climbing up to 24 degrees Celsius, I just had to go out. Slowly I ran along the canal and butterflies used the chance as well and flattered around like crazy, buzzing along. One of them accompanied me and I said to myself, "Doris, this is all by chance, the play will be over in a second." But I believed in the possibility and inwardly said to God, "If the butterfly follows me until I reach my goal, which was the next car bridge a few hundred meters away, I will declare that You sent him to me to give me joy. When I reached the bridge, I was unattentive for a fraction of a second and the butterfly was gone, absolutely nowhere to be seen. But it accompanied me the whole distance, indeed. It was all the time dancing around, sniffing on this flower and that flower, I could even carress him gently with one finger for quite a few seconds.
Today (14 April 2020) is the 50th anniversary of Sri Chinmoy: The Peace Meditation at the United Nations.
This is a wonderful video about the 50th anniversary of the Peace Meditation at the UN. I'm sharing it here in case you haven't already seen it. When we look back over our own inner journey's first steps to becoming a student of Sri Chinmoy, it sometimes appears that the first seeds to eventually becoming a disciple were planted long before actually learning about Sri Chinmoy outwardly.
I speculate that my first inner connection to Guru might have happened inside the United Nations in approximately 1975 or so. I grew up in the state of Michigan in the U.S. and went on a trip with my family to New York City for the first time ever and our visit included a tour of the United Nations. I was spellbound and captivated by the experience and came home to Michigan with the yearning to "grow up" and become an interpreter or someone who worked in international relations because I was so moved by going to the United Nations. I started taking two foreign languages in school instead of one and even started college as a double major in French and history. At that time, I had never visited another country besides Canada. Canada was a short trip by bridge or tunnel over the Detroit River so to me Canada always felt like a close relative or next door neighbor. Not actually being fluent in other languages, etc. kept my yearning squarely in the realm of dream rather than reality. And eventually I graduated from college with a major in neither French nor history.
Now that well over half my life has been as a student of Sri Chinmoy, I can't help but wonder if when I was inside the UN, Guru was there that day as well and we established an inner connection that later came to fruition in my outer life. By the time I joined the path, I had relocated to the East Coast and had the good fortune of being able to drive as little 3 to 5 hours to attend meditation activities with Guru. While the idea that nations could cooperate and work toward a common goal certainly inspired me, I now imagine that the enchantment I felt for the U.N. was probably actually my soul's thrill to meet Guru on the inner plane before later commencing on a conscious and inspiring inner life as a disciple of Sri Chinmoy.
p.s. if I wrote this story previously here, please forgive my repetition. It's just my way of saying that one of the things I always loved and still love about the path is Guru's love for and connection with the United Nations.
I will bring down a few stars
I had been watching a video where Guru read from his brother Chitta`s notebook. Then I decided to go out and find more peace sitting at the shore of the Berlin canal of Teltow. Surprisingly, quite a few people were out biking, running and walking. My goal were the few steps that lead close to the water. I took my seat where the canal was making a bend. I closed my eyes and made a prayer for peace. Here at this place it seemed possible. I allowed to be driven by the sweet illusion to be on a grassy ship and floated along happily, although it was the other way. The waters were peacefully flowing by and I tried to enjoy the moment. About to leave the place, I noticed hundreds of little sparkling stars dancing on the water and coming closer and closer. What a spectacle that nature was presenting, just by letting the wind blow and have ripples appear all over the water and the sun shine through the bordering trees on the other side of the aritficial river.
I can`t really describe the joy I felt while watching more and more stars appearing on the water, that came all my way and close to the shore disappearing only for new ones to appear again, streaming around that bend endlessly. No star-lit night could ever be more beautiful. I looked around to see whether other people would also notice them, but it seemed they were busy with themselves or in a hurry.
Strolling home, musing about the beautiful experience I had in a place I can`t even call naturally beautiful, compared to memories of Switzerland, I remembered the video I had been watching before and how thrilled I was on Guru`s innocent, childlike saying that he would bring down a few stars, even though he would not know yet how to fly. Inwardly I said to Guru: "Oi, not only a few, but countless stars...:))
Are my heart`s
Most intimate friends."
Here you can read the excerpt from Chitta`s notebook, Guru was reading out from:
"One day he said to me that he was going to fly in the sky. I said, "How?" He said, "That I do not know, but I am going to fly because I want to go and play with the moon and the stars. And when I come back, I will definitely pluck and bring down a few stars." We used to enjoy his soulful and innocent adventures." -Guru
In the morning after the meditation I always read in three books - "My Morning Begins", "Meditations, Food for the soul" and "My Life`s Soul-Journey. Very often and lately a little neglected - "My Morning Soul-Body-Prayers". Once I start reading in it again, I feel such power coming from the words and lifting me up.
This morning, after I read the excerpts and the poem of April 9, I strongly felt that I want to share this. Perhaps it all depends on receptivity and one could quote any of Guru`s spiritual, holy writings, but today this struck me as comprehensable and important, really longing my life to be transformed. Anyways, everything takes soooo long.
"Aspiration burns away outer impurity and imperfection, while at the same time it clears up all that is disturbing our inner consciousness."
"When the flame of aspiration has been kindled in you and is burning most effectively, you must allow it to blaze fully. You will see that the outer world, the disturbing world, is actually deep inside you. Then things that have to be transformed will then be transformed. There is no other way to fight outer disturbances than to keep the flame of aspiration burning constantly."
"Meditate with great enthusiasm
If you want to make the fastest progress
In your aspiration-heart
And in your dedication-life."
P.S. I really wish everybody would own the book "My Life`s Soul-Journey." Each page is more than relevant and transformative in regards to our individual and our collective consciousness. -Doris
Re: Message in a dream
for me it is a learning process to listen to the inner dictates, not only in a dream. Sometimes the inner voice cries so loudly, but it seems impossible to listen, because the mind has some different programme planned or quicker results we get from vital enjoyment, though short-lived, such as eating, watching fairy-tales, small talking etc.
We are not used to find ourselves shut-in or be pulled away from the workaday world. It`s easy being said how many good things we can do at home. We have to adjust and it takes time. I am practising it for years now and maybe can help a little. I can assure you, it is rewarding.
I just found a nice article on Sri Chinmoy News, that may help seekers who were planning to attend a meditation class:
Yes, our own websites have helped and are still helping a lot. It is another way to connect even with an international community. At times I am helping out myself, translating content for our German sites.
But of course, life means much more then that.
To slown down can be a good way to get closer to your inner self. I am trying and practrice more meditation, singing, reading, watching spiritual videos. The challenge is to be constant, be consistent. Yes, it is not as easy as one may think, to be one`s own boss, especially when you were used to get orders all your life.
Well, this crisis (and others) will be ending, so let`s enjoy the little unwilling vacation and hope for newness for the whole world. I really started dreaming again of a world, far beyond as it looks right now.
At the moment I am singing "hope" songs Guru composed. They are short and easy to learn. And by the way, somewhere I have been reading that in the future, near or distant, I don`t remember, people will be meditating individually in their respective homes. :)
With you my life goes on."
"O Earth, I shall love you
With all my heart
Before I leave for Heaven."
Humor - My only Saviour
well, it is not my only saviour, but it helps at times.
Please, watch this and you see perhaps an old story just repeating. :)
Message in a dream
The back story behind this dream I am about to share is that I went on the Christmas Trip to Sardinia around the first of the year (I arrived on New Year's eve and enjoyed watching fireworks at midnight with others there for the trip). I had not been on a Christmas trip since Malta which I think was about 4 years ago. While on the trip, I marveled at how powerfully it fed my inner life and attributed it to the fact that I had not been on a Christmas trip in a long time so I must have been valuing and cherishing each aspect as if experiencing it fresh and with newness. Perhaps in another post I will share some sweet memories/experiences from the trip. Each meditation and activity intensified my aspiration and feeling of connection with Guru. Outwardly simple moments, like just singing together or taking part in the meditation club, felt magical.
Not too long after coming home, I found myself out of town again, this time for a longish trip to visit my parents for the occasion of my mother's 80th birthday on leap year day, Feb. 29th. The Coronavirus situation was new then, with cases only in the state of Washington within the U.S. (if I remember correctly). A couple of legs of my flights had people wearing masks and while I was there the stock market in the U.S. began its first serious instability. The latter I was aware of because my father was acutely paying attention to it.
While there I had a striking dream, and I wish to share it here in case it resonates with others as well. It is interesting to note that over the years, I have had powerful dreams while staying at my parents' house other times as well and I wonder if it's some kind of Arizona/Sedona vortex or God knows what because when there my parents don't even call me by my spiritual name and I meditate, etc. in a private and low key way. But back to the dream...
In the dream, I was being told that I needed to intensify my inner cry and closeness with God so that I could feel the connection with Guru when I'm home living my regular life, meditating at my own shrine, etc. I needed to learn to feel as strong as it feels for me when I'm gathered together with large numbers of disciples. Because just like in that recent Christmas trip, I usually dial in deep and feel my inner life blossom as soon as I'm together with other disciples. In the dream it said "as strong as on a Christmas trip, as strong as at Celebrations, etc." - to feel that same way individually, one-on-one without being around anyone else from the Centre - even without going to centre meetings. I remember how as the dream unfolded that the last part seemed odd because my centre meetings are currently only a handful of people and hardly qualify as a gathering of large numbers.
Well - while I was still out of town, notifications came through on my smartphone that the first case of Coronavirus had happened in the state I live in and the first case of it happened in the state of New York. By the time I flew home in early March, the airline staffer at the gate as we boarded had us scan our own barcodes on our boarding passes so that they weren't touching anything we had handled.
Now in a few short weeks, the world has changed dramatically so much and so quickly that a day ago feels like a much longer time. I no longer go to work and am just taking things one day at a time regarding what might happen with my job. We are a hair breadth away from almost complete quarantine and I never in my life thought I would see an April without a Celebrations or not being able to even go to centre meetings.
At the time I had the dream, I had no idea how quickly it would come true, especially the part about not even going to a centre meeting. My new normal is to try to help out my 87 year old centre leader, who is staying inside completely, and simple tasks like grocery shopping, laundry (she and I both do not have our own washing machines where we live), going for a walk or buying flowers for her since she's cooped up is a major occasion now feel herculean.
I cherish the moments when stories are shared of all the acts of oneness and kindness blossoming everywhere. I find the 3 times a day that we pray/meditate for God's victory to be super powerful. Even though I am a bit adrift in the world of adjusting to minimally working from home after over 30 years working as a librarian as a big part of my identity, I am trying to sit down, take a deep breath, and obediently dive within to quest for what was asked of me in what I now view as an extremely significant dream.
Thoughts on purity
I’ve always had a lot of trouble organizing my life and figuring out what my priorities should be. Sometimes I feel like I’m just coasting along. I don’t know what to do, so I’ll just go with the flow.
I guess this applies to housework and the cleanliness of my personal space. I’ve always struggled. I also have had trouble planning out my day. Once again, it’s easier to just coast than to make those tough decisions.
A while back I encountered some obstructions in my spiritual life, some roadblocks. The only way to get around them was to focus more intensely on Guru’s consciousness, through his writings and his music. Sometimes we go through tough times, but we come out of them with stronger aspiration. I like to think that’s what happened in my case.
Anyway, during my “hard times”, I decided that maybe it would help if I tried to purify my life a little. I started practicing Guru’s prescribed exercise for purity. It’s a simple exercise: you chant the name of God five hundred times on Monday, then increase the number each day until by the following Monday you are repeating the mantra twelve hundred times, and then you decrease the number until once again you come back down to five hundred. He recommended people can do this exercise for one month if they want purity.
I tried it, and golly gee, it worked! I did feel more pure after a month, and I have continued this exercise, off and on, for a few months now.
I noticed some immediate effects of bringing purity into my life. For one thing, I am now able to plan out my day. I can see what my priorities are, and I can make choices based on those priorities. Before, I couldn’t weigh different options, I felt lost. Now, I see things with more clarity.
This might seem really simplistic, but it has been so liberating to me to have a plan! Purity helps you get control of your emotions and thoughts. So, naturally, you can divide up and use your time better.
Second, I enjoy cleaning. That’s a big one! But it’s no surprise. If you feel more cleanliness in your system, you will spontaneously find ways to make your outer environment more clean and pure.
Third, the roadblock that bothered me for so long simply vanished! It’s not an issue anymore. Once again, purity just means getting control over yourself. So, if people suffer from recurring frustrations or irritating, damaging thoughts, maybe let them try to bring more purity into their system.
Before I felt scared of vital thoughts and also self-doubt and insecurity. I thought these forces owned me, had a stake in my life. Now, I realise it is just the reverse. I own them. This is profoundly liberating.
Finally, people in the outer world seem to notice me more as a spiritual seeker. A few days ago, I had a long line of customers, and one woman three carts back looked very anxious and upset to be waiting. But then I noticed she became very calm. Ten minutes later, when it was her turn, I asked her how she was feeling. She told me that had been in an anxious worried mood, but then, “I felt your energy, and I realized I just have to relax and take it easy.”
No-one’s ever said that to me before! Maybe when we develop more purity, people can feel it. That means purity can manifest our spiritual achievements and offer them to other people. Guru said that there were some Masters who did realise God, but who did not transform their natures. Naturally, they have realisation, but they can’t manifest it. Even though we are not God-realised, we can still offer people what little wealth we have if we can just maintain a good standard of purity. This will help us in the future, when we have much more inner wealth.
Guru’s book “Purity-River Wins” is full of great meditations and exercises on purity, including the five hundred to twelve-hundred chanting technique I mentioned. Among the other things that have helped me include buying flowers and incense, concentrating on my breathing during the day, and repeating Guru’s poems on purity. You can just type “purity” on our Sri Chinmoy Library and you’ll find lots of great aphorisms on purity.
I’ve noticed in my own brief purity journey that impurity is not one problem, but many. In other words, vital impurity, and mental impurity too for that matter, is like a yarn with hundreds of knots in it. There’s no way to untangle all the knots at once. I simply untie one knot at a time. Each time I think of purity, or chant my mantras, or Guru’s poems, or even try to go running but in a good, high consciousness, I feel I’m untying one little knot. Then, the following day, when I go through my purity exercises again, I feel I’m resolving another knot. The result from these purity exercises is that I feel more calm, more peaceful and yes, more powerful.
If you feel you’ve hit a dead-end in your spiritual life and don’t know where to go, maybe try to generate a little more purity. You may find a new road will open up for you where none existed before.
A chance encounter
Today a middle-aged couple came to my register. The lady was dressed like a businesswoman, but her husband was a little disheveled, wore a “Grateful Dead” shirt and had some real depth in his eyes, like a sage. I decided to engage with him first and began singing, “Ripple” by the Grateful Dead.
I was bagging up their groceries and the lady asked me about the derivation of my name and I said it was a spiritual name given to me by my Master Sri Chinmoy and that it meant “Tree.” They both perked up and the woman said, “Sri Chinmoy!” and the husband said, “I saw Sri Chinmoy in concert in St. Louis Missouri in 1983. He played a hundred instruments. He was sitting on a carpet and the instruments were all spread out around him. Before he began, he prayed over all the instruments.”
I thought it was significant that the man remembered Sri Chinmoy praying over the instruments. That means he has a deep understanding of what Guru offered through his Peace Concerts.
He asked me how I met Sri Chinmoy and I told him I saw my Guru for the first time at a Peace Concert too, some thirteen years after he saw the Master, in Philadelphia. He told me I am the first person he ever met who knew Sri Chinmoy personally, and he felt really grateful for that.
Dreams will come true
I can`t forget about a dream I have had some days ago early in the morning, short before I woke up. So I may share it here.
I was walking on some path and it was a nice summer day, when I heard some humming behind me that seemed to come closer. As I turned around I saw a big group of children, somehow developed, coming my way and carrying each a flower, holding it in front of them. The flower looked similar to a callas and it`s color was beige. The flower seemed to be made of fabric and I felt very familiar with it. Anyways...
The children came quickly closer and I joined walking with them, staying on the pathway, while they were walking on the right site of the path, parading through high growing grass, reaching a hall made of glass. I remember I felt that I was not allowed to join them into the hall where they were all going, but I could see everything, that was going on through the windows.
Then I woke up and I was still humming the melody that was simple and lovely. I repeated it for a while, but after the morning meditation and singing our daily songs, I had forgotten the melody. But I do remember that it was similar to the famous Hare Krishna Kirtan.
"Hare Krishna, hare Krishna, Krishna, Krishna, hare, hare.
Hare Rama, hare Rama, Rama, Rama, hare, hare."
Another poem that comes to mind is:
"What Krishna destroys, who can save?
What Krishna saves, who can destroy?"
OT - Angelina Jordan, Unparalleled Child Singer
Now, I am not into Jazz at all, but listen please to this talented young lady who won Norway`s Got Talent when she was just seven years old.
In an interview she was once asked why she would perform always barefeet and she answered that she couldn`t forget about a little girl she gave her shoes to. It sounds corny, but I believe her. I have never before seen a child so talented, that you can`t help feeling she is a developed soul in a tiny body. Her smile reminds of that of Mona Lisa.
Parables of Sri Chinmoy
Christ and Sri Ramakrishna used to tell many parables to their disciples, lyrical tales that embody spiritual truth. Guru did not tell many parables, in the years I lived with him in New York. He was focused on the here and now. No time for parables.
Or so I thought.
As I have begun studying his poetry, I see they are absolutely full of parables, parables of exquisite insight and unparalleled beauty.
Take this one:
(Sri Chinmoy, Meditation: God speaks and I listen, part 1, Agni Press, 1974)
"When I sit
(Sri Chinmoy, The Golden Boat, part 2, Agni Press, 1974)
"Six divine comrade-souls
(Sri Chinmoy, The Wings of Light, part 15, Agni Press, 1974)
Two recollections from my friend
Many years ago one of my friends asked Guru about how he could make the fastest progress in his spiritual life. Guru said three things: remember why you came to earth and what your purpose is; never doubt either yourself or your Master; consciously surrender your will to the Will of the Supreme.
After Guru completed the first fifty volumes in his “Ten Thousand Flower Flames” series, he invited people who had all fifty books to come to bring them to a function and display them. Guru went over to where my friend was standing and counted each and every book in his collection and then gave him a sweet smile and walked away.
My cri du coeur #humor
At April Celebrations, I recited Guru’s poems at the marathon. I thought people would enjoy my recitation and indeed many runners told me that, yes, they in fact liked hearing me recite Guru’s beautiful poetry. But one woman came up to me some time after the thirteenth and told me that she had done the 12 hour walk and that I wasn’t there reciting poems.
I said, “I’m sorry, I was doing laundry that day and I had to get my group ready for our performance the next day.”
She just shook her head sadly and walked away.
Then, this past August a young Australian disciple came up to me and said that they had had a nice Joy Day in Adelaide.
He then said, “It was great, but we noticed you weren’t there. How come you didn’t come to the Joy Day to recite Guru’s poems?”
“Maybe because I don’t live in Australia?” I offered, answering his question with one of my own.
Look people, please, I love reciting poems, especially Guru’s poems, and over the past year I recited the "Golden Boat" poems at the April Marathon, at the Forty-Seven Mile race, at the Chicago Centre and also at Impossibility-Challenger.
But I also have a job, I’m working on a book, I go to the opera a lot, and yes, I do my own laundry, office work and cleaning.
STOP ASKING ME TO RECITE POEMS!!!!
I’m not a monkey!
I’m not a vending machine!
If you want me to travel to your country to recite, I’ll write a book of one thousand of my own poems, each one based on a different Agatha Christie novel and we’ll play “Charades” until the sun falls into the ocean and Global Warming fries us all.
(I am of course being tongue-in-cheek. If you can put me up in a spacious luxury suite I might be tempted to come to your country. Or I’ll send one of my agents.)
Sri Madhusan - The Story Divine, a trilogy
Inwardly I had been asking Guru to show me someone who has real aspiration, because I badly needed inspiration. The big city life can be tiring at times.
I would like to bring your attention to a book I read by Sri Madhusudan who is a follower of Sri Satya Sai Baba. They call it a spiritual thriller and indeed I had feelings exactly like that. But in the inner world it isn`t a thriller at all, but just what Guru often called a more vivid reality then what he experienced outwardly. It is so beautiful to be taken on that inner journey in a natural way, that allows no fear, as Madhusudan is such a loving and gentle person, who repeatedly declares to be a simple, imperfect person, who was chosen by his Master because He knew, Madhusudan was a devotee, who will never say "no" to His inner Will, being absolutely faithful.
There is a second part available and obviously he is still writing currently on the third part.
I am definitely deeply inspired and to be frank not too proud of my own inner standard, compared to the gems I found in this book.
Mother Teresa nuns at Rome airport
We saw one the nuns who was there when Guru shared the peace torch with Mother Teresa. A one in a trillion chance, yes? When Virangini showed her a photo of Guru she remembered and held her hand up like she was holding the torch.
Re: Heavenly helpers #spiritual-life
well, the story doesn`t seem to end.
I went to the city to buy flowers for the shrine in our meditation centre and found a shop with lots and lots of beautiful flower arrangements. Is there a more beautiful world then flower-worlds on this earth planet? I chose four different flower bundles - yellow freesias, red buttercups, some kind of mini lupines, and in my imagination rearranged them to two fragrant and lovely looking bouquets that I would like to present to Guru by placing them left and right to the Picture. What I liked most, was a bunch of spring green shepherd`s` purse, that seemed so right, thinking of the heavenly Shepherd and what He might have hidden in there.
I remembered that I had been reading in Guru`s book "Two Brothers: Madal and Chinmoy", sweet questions and answers on different topics, Guru perhaps trying to improve our command of English or perhaps he was in a playful mood to offer his wisdom - given from his inner purse?
Madal: "Chinmoy, is it absolutely necessary for a seeker to develop an aesthetic sense?"
Chinmoy: "Yes, Madal, a spiritual person has to be sensitive to beauty. His spiritual life undoubtedly needs both inner and outer beauty."
To be frank, I had some contradicting thoughts to this statement, but found soon after another answer to it, Guru giving advice on how it would positively affect the whole body by applying a small quantity of oil to one`s hair and also emphasizing on outer beauty in the form of modesty.
Anyways, back to the flower shop, I went with my chosen flowers to the desk holding them hardly with my two hands and noticed only then a sign that their card machine was not working and that only cash was accepted. The sales lady had already wrapped the flowers in some paper but I was sorry not having enough cash with me, asking the lady to take out one of the bunches, when a lady behind me spontaneously offered to pay for the missing amount. I thought of leaving to get money from some bank, but considering my tiredness and back pain, I thanked her profusely for doing so. Not enough, she said, "well, I may pay for all of them" and a brand new twenty Euro bill came fluttering down from her purse, landing on the table in front of the sales lady. She grabbed the money and said, "Wonderful!" I could only stumble with joy, "You know, these flowers are not for me, they are for a certain shrine, you know, I am meditating and Someone is meant to get those flowers, therefore I may accept your offer." The sales lady cried out, "Perfect!"
With tears in my eyes I left the store, took my bike and left the place. I was embarrassed about the incident mixed with some astonishment, of how generous people can be. This lady didn`t know me at all. I was also sure, that there were no angels involved, but the more I am thinking about the story, the more I do believe in miracles, remembering that special expression in her eyes.