Hey Chimps! Sail on over to Bioko!
It's less than 50 km away — a quick trip (if you're lucky)
You won't be able to leave, and your descendants won't want to leave.
Relax with plenty of nutritious marine food — great for brain growth.
No need to look for food in the forest. (In fact, there is no forest.)
You won't need big jaws. The shellfish and marine greens are chewy.
You'll be the only large animal around! No leopards. No crocodiles. Always safe.
Bathe completely naked — throw away that wet fur coat forever!
Nights are warm. It's almost always cloudy, so no strong sun to burn your skin.
Learn to swim! Learn to hold your breath in water! It's not as hard as you think.
Control your breath, then learn how to talk! Be able to talk with family and friends.
Have sex in the water with the mate of your choice! No alpha males here.
Males — you won't need those sharp canine teeth to compete!
Females — Your babies will be born with blubber!
Give birth in the water, and let your plump baby float while you are eating or sleeping.
No predators to come and snatch your crying babies.
No nasty African viruses! No need to carry water — it's nearly always raining.
Pull off an "Evolutionary Bio-Coup"— sail to Bio-ko.
(Your descendants might take over the planet!)