Trigger eye pain, gender-related emotional dysphoria, anxiety and mood instability, eating disorder stuff, new alter, public unsafety because I don't believe and hate shopping at this time of year... Fumified?

System Seeds <iloveseeds1@...>
 

Hello Kaden here and how is everyone doing on this miserable wet Thursday morning?

As for us things are unstable...

Triggers follow...






Well as some of you may know we were born SSI, severely sight impaired/registered blind, with the eye condition septo-optic dysplasia, described below...

Left eye small and underdeveloped/micro ophthalmia, so had a prosthetic shell since the age of 4 months, changed and monitored as needed...

Right eye has limited vision, nystagmus, cataract, a diseased cornea, photophobia, and stayed the same till now...

Last year if not earlier I noticed a decrease in vision, balance worsening and unexplained headaches, I've been on attropine drops since college and in recent years started systane for dry eyes...

But last year my new ophthalmologist checked my eye pressure in the right eye and it was not good so went on latanoprost pressure drops and haven't had an eye check for 2 years now do they give a spoffles?

Now that being said the left eye socket looks red inflamed and angry with the veins showing, it came out 40 times yesterday and it is still doing so, not to mention the complex infections?

The right eye has hardly any colour vision left now and my own mother doesn't believe me... she says i am only making out that my sight is going because I want to? How can somebody want to lose that site? How can somebody fake vision loss? How does mum know she doesn't live here anymore... it's sickening to fake vision loss why would I do it? Are people really that logically impaired to think or believe that I would do this?

So off to the dump tomorrow to sort this out, I do not want my mum to say anything to them that applies that I am faking my vision loss, it's on fair and ridiculous?

Other stuff...


I am off to the gender identity clinic again today for my second assessment but my mother has a funeral to attend so my sister is taking me, I don't mind but I wish she would lay off the misgendering? She knows that our dysphoria is bad so why purposely do it? My emotional dysphoria is particularly bad since my grandmother won't accept my name or identity and calls us... That?

God I hate her she's so transphobic...


My anxiety and mood instability are high right now due to meds changing, family in acceptance of pronouns, identity itself, and alters, also it's official I sign the tenancy agreement next week so that means the houdveure is in my name, also holiday stress being forced to believe in that day when we believe in greys day...


We still struggling with the eating disorder but see the stomach specialist on December 21st...


Last night, a new altar called spoadveure appeared, they are a non binary 40000 year old vampire, triggered by the emotional struggle with sight deterioration...


I hate shopping at this time of year but family make me even though I don't believe?

Please support me and my system?

Kaden/host


Sent from system seeds, a fragmented reawakened complex multiple personified system with many complicated complex issues, we are blind and lucky enough to be a guide dog owner, we identify as genderqueer with the preferences of Xe/Xem, Hir/Hirs, Se/Sem/Seeirs/Seirself/semselves, they/them pronouns, with MX used in formal circumstances, I live with the conditions PTSD, CMPD, EDNOS, IBS, dissociative identity disorder, with 2193 personalities/alters, paranoid schizophrenia, generalised anxiety disorder, gender dysphoria, insomnia, unipolar depressive disorder, OCD, paranoid personality disorder, panic disorder, pseudo chromatic epilepsy, SOD. And we are also hearing impaired. We get severe migraines but the meds for them don't work because they ara useless pile of spoffles?

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