System Grey <systemgrey2989@...>
I feel dizzy and sick and frightened by everything right now, i fell off my spoffles bed at 2:30PM this afternoon when Qetsiyah one of the littles had a funny turn due to an awful anxiety attack which led to a severe depressive episode, which caused the accident, we have been in an irritable state all day and had fluctuating bouts of mood instability and dysregulation, including anger and guilt and gender dysphoria and frustration and fear of abuse and abandonment, these thoughts are reoccurring alongside thoughts of suicide and thoughts of death and in existence and feelings of trappedness and isolation and the littles are frightened of being abused and unloved and unwanted all over again, the host is not around, the accident and fall we had was so bad it has made us extremely paranoid and the bucking voices have started again, oh yeah that's right, we are hallucinating again and are in the midst of a severe scary psychotic schizophrenic, episode, we can't see our psychiatrist anymore they have bucking discharged us for no apparent reason whatsoever? The only help we have is our psychotherapist who is annoyed that the psychiatric team have discharged us and The crisis team have done the same which is absolutely disgusting? I don't know how we're going to get help with this now? Any suggestions how we can help the Littles? This accident has really shocked though in the system, I don't know how I will sleep tonight, we are just going to do mads now and relax for the night, but the Littles are scared, Ansermet because of this episode, I have never had a bad schizophrenic episodes like this before and don't know how to handle it, and suggestions? I really don't know what to do anymore with this, it's frightening me, I'm 60 shades of screwed up?
I apologise for any typos in this message at all because my iPhone dictation service is a load of crap I am only just learning how to use it because I'm an altar in the system the host is not around because of traumatic memories that upset then, so I have taken over the body to support them, until the host can regain control.
Damon aged 174
Sent from System Grey, DILLIGAF, DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FROFF? About what people think about me? No... DO I SPOFFLES?