Re: Nose picking/thumb sucking/rudeness


 

I don't have specific tips for stopping nose picking or thumb sucking but reading your post my initial reaction was that it sounds like they're all trying to get your attention. One copying the negative behavior you correct another for, etc. Appearing the strongest from the 4 year old because he previously was the baby and probably dominated your attention before the new one. I'm sure with a new baby and 4 kids you're stretched pretty thin, but I'd guess that anything more you can do to give them each some positive attention would help your whole situation. It can be little things like 5 minutes of your full attention only on them. I've noticed my boys really appreciate it when I put my phone away, ignore other household chores, ask other people/kids to patiently wait for me if necessary, and give them my full attention - eye contact, listening intently to what they have to say, etc. even for just a few minutes every so often.

I wish you all the best!
Erin



On Sat, Sep 15, 2018 at 11:40 PM Kathryn Robles paigekitten@... [AlwaysLearning] <AlwaysLearning@...> wrote:
 

I need help either having more realistic expectations or with handling things better.

My kids are 11,9,6,4, and six weeks. (Only the oldest has been to school and it was for three separate times for about six weeks each time at her request)

My oldest picks her nose and holds the booger between her fingers and plays with it.  Whenever I notice this I give her a tissue, have her wipe off her fingers and I throw the tissue away.  If she's sitting and picking extensively I'll ask her to go to the bathroom.  

She gets angry when I give her a tissue or ask her to stop.  This has been going on for years, and at this point I feel like it's seriously negatively affecting our relationship because it's happening multiple times a day.

My nine year old still sucks her thumb, and needs braces and wants braces, which we'll get for her as soon as its in the budget or when the eleven year old gets hers off, whichever happens first.  My husband has started reminding her not to suck her thumb, which she doesn't mind, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.  

In response the six year old has started sucking her thumb even though she never did in the past.

Anytime I mention to anyone not to pick their nose or suck their thumb the four year old starts doing it intentionally.

The four year old has not been happy, and seems to intentionally do negative things for my attention.  This started over a year ago and I thought it was because we were packing for an out of state move, then I thought it was adjusting to our new house, then me being pregnant and him being nervous about the new baby, and now baby is here.  

He tends to scream when he wants his way, even if it's something that's not possible, tries to chase his sisters out of any room he and I are in, walks up to them and grabs their stuff, intentionally chews with his mouth open to bug the eleven year old when they eat, or do things like try to punch the TV when it's his sister's turn to watch something, even if I've set up something else for him to do, or another show for him on a phone or laptop.  

I'm nervous about assuming he will grow out of this stuff since its been going on for so long. 

My husband works from home, so he's here mostly during the day and helps a lot, and my parents and sister are in town and love the kids and do things frequently with them too, (separately and all together). 

The nose picking, thumb sucking, and defiant behavior from the four year old bother my mother too, when she's with the kids.

They've been rude to her too, like flat out ignoring her when she's asked them to do something (or not do something) at her house and I'm not there.  

I see them learning, and having fun and being happy in general, but the nose picking, thumb sucking and attitude about it when I bring it up is not pleasant.  I don't know if there are better ways to handle it.

And I'm unsure of better ways to help the four year old be happy as I'm already giving him as much positive attention as I can.  I'm also unsure if assuming he will outgrow these things is the best course of action. 

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