Re: Nose picking/thumb sucking/rudeness

Tara F (rhymes with Sara)

>>> I guess I've hesitated to use humor or gentle teasing for fear of teasing a little too hard, but maybe that would be good to switch it up and get out of this "here goes mom again" broken record thing. <<<

I personally tend to take things too seriously. I look for role models who make lightness look easy. Peter Gray's article on the value of teasing is really helpful for me to deconstruct the concept and figure out how to do it more often myself.

I especially like Gray's take on teasing as a way of letting others know they're accepted. People who know they're accepted are more likely to change their behavior than someone fighting to be seen and heard. I'm picturing a laughing mom using a knuckle to over-the-top pretend to pick her nose, and a bunch of laughing kids watching her joyfully. 

We spend a lot of time learning how damaging things like teasing and shame can be. But there are actually very healthy capacities of both. 

I'm linking the Peter Gray article here. For someone who feels nervous about teasing, googling "teasing vs bullying" could also be helpful. To be clear, Gray is not an unschooler but he does study and write about us often.

~Tara Joe Farrell 

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