-=-I have spent my entire life looking outside myself for "correct" answers. I want better for my kids. I want them to know that the answers inside themselves are valid. -=-

The “answers” won’t be inside them And it might be best not even to think of them as answers.

I’m being picky—please don’t be offended. I do want to look at what “answers” might be and where they come from. :-)

Erin wrote:
-=-we can give our children a secure place to explore THEIR relationship with food -=-

Accept that one day a child might want a boiled egg with a runny yolk, and then might never want an egg again for a long time—not for beliefs about eggs, not because that one traumatized him, but because he doesn’t feel that’s the food he wants. In a world of choices (if you can help provide choices) and in an environment of acceptance, a child can learn about the world, and about himself, and about interacting with the world not in a grand-culmination way, but in moments.

If the mom can practice and appreciate making many small choices, she can more calmly accept changes and experimentation and what might seem inconstant or random in the child’s choices. He might want to try things. He might not be in an adventurous season and might want the same thing every day for a year. But he will be learning, if he’s allowed to feel his own body’s responses without someone telling him what he is feeling or should be feeling.

There’s a story here by Pam Sorooshian about something that happened on her first visit to see me, twenty years ago.
http://sandradodd.com/yes.html

You could search for “plum” if you’re in a hurry.


Sandra