Re: Cursing and frustration with sibling


 

--Tact (to me) is a rule; it's about what's deemed socially acceptable and what's not. I hope that he will *know* what is generally deemed acceptable, question it, and make decisions about his actions based on kindness, respect, and common sense. I'm not discouraging tact, but I think that respect and compassion supersede it. When I said I hoped he won't have tact, I meant that I hope he won't learn to hide behind rules over principles. -=-

There's the problem.

Tact is not a rule.
Tact is making a strategic, thoughtful decision after considering as many factors as the person has access to. Tactful. Tactics

-=-When I said I hoped he won't have tact, I meant that I hope he won't learn to hide behind rules over principles. -=-

Tact is not about rules. Tact is about not burning bridges, not losing friends, not screwing things up. Tact is about being a good member of a social team.
Tact is what helps a person maneuver a difficult situation and be praised and thanked later. Tact is what can get someone invited back over again.
You told us you hoped he would not grow up to have tact, so I think it was a misinterpretation of the meaning of "tact."

Tact if a WONDERFUL thing to have. It is one of the best things anyone could have, so to brag that he used bad language and to express a wish that he will grow up tactless (not an interpolation; a rephrasing of what you said) made me think a little worse than "unparenting."

Sandra

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