haydee deldenovese <shybarbie22@...> wrote:
I also feel that at the age of 4, a child might not haveWhat does that mean "when enough is enough"? I'm sure I don't know. What's more, I work with a 72 year old woman who doesn't seem to know when "enough is enough" - she sleeps something like four hours a night and spends most of the rest of her time upholstering furniture. She's been doing that for 40 years.
There's some big bad cultural pressure against the idea that children have passions. I remember when I was first reading about unschooling getting all creeped out at the word "passion" applied to children. Children shouldn't be passionate, they should be well-rounded. Even though adults aren't well rounded at all!
I mean in the sense that usually at 4, the childrenAt 4, my daughter was already pretty introverted, and from birth she has prefered to do things for long stretches of time. When she was 4, a lot of what she did - hours every day - was cut shapes out of paper. She'd go through a whole stack of computer paper a week, easily, sometimes two. That much paper. Hours and hours every day. We went to our first unschooling conference that year - Live and Learn - and I stayed in a largish cabin with a shared kitchen/common room. I spent a lot of time cleaning up paper, and other parents commented on that: does your kid do this All the Time? It was only about half her waking hours, really, but that was still a lot. She's moved on from that to other things, but she still spends hours every day on her current passion. For awhile it was legos. Now it's fan-fiction.
The child in the original post has brothers and sisters - Mo has a half-brother. If he's around, he fills up all her social needs really quickly. If the child in the original post is a strong introvert as well as being really passionate about what he's doing, it could easily be that he's a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of people in his life. That's not a problem with the computer, it's someone using the computer as a tool. Without it, he might use books, or painting, or paper cutting. He could easily be spending exactly as much time indoors, focused on his passion and/or protective shield.
Actually, that would explain this from the original post:
we are doing looks SO interesting and fun that he wants to participate, but heSometimes what
seems to feel naked without the laptop, so he brings it and turns back to it
every minute or two.<<
It's also important to note that he's Not doing One thing, he's doing several:
The fact that all those things seem to revolve around a single subject isn't any different than another child who wants pirate clothes, pirate stories, pirate movies, pirate pajamas, pirate sheets, and pirate themed food.
maybe it is because I am still deschooling, but I feel like if to"Having" kids do anything is problematic, but supporting kids in what they value and care about is the basis of How unschooling works. Replace "playing games" with other things a kid might become passionate about and see if that changes your perspective: play an instrument, paint, read, build, climb...
The biggest problem is that mom Isn't supporting the kids on the computer enough.