Re: allowances


-=- We also try to be sensitive to the amount of stuff we put into the
waste stream. We are great believers in small simple joys, like always
having small games on hand to play when waiting for something, somewhere.-=-

Please try to distinguish between the "we" that means "my husband and I" or "I" and the "we" that means your family. Your family is unlikely to have all the same sensitivities and beliefs, and it will make it more difficult for you to see and think about what you're doing (and to describe and share it with others on this list) if you're speaking for everyone as a group.

-=-As for setting up life lessons... well no, not really. I will communicate
expectations around certain tasks, like household things. I will make
suggestions about certain things, like how to plan and save. We have some
very basic rules in the house that apply to everybody. We are all capable
of keeping the house clean and happy to be in and we are all expected to
contribute to that goal. We all have a responsibility to save and plan for
the future financially, as per our development and age. We aren't setting
up things for the kids that we do not do for ourselves.-=-

You said lessons before, didn't you? (You did say "teach them...") I think you said chores.

-=-Everyone chooses the activity (I hate to say chore--it just makes a task
sound unpleasant) that they will do to keep the house livable. I do have to
remind some folks about their choices. Sometimes, I am reminded of mine.-=-

It doesn't matter whether you use the word "chore," if there are rules and charts and requirements and reminders and the inability to opt out.

-=- We have some very basic rules in the house that apply to everybody.-=-

It's not a problem to have rules. It's legal, it's moral, most families want them and praise other families for having them.

In light of moving from a traditional, conservative, default way of living to a mindful unschooling way of living, though, it's important to look at rules, and where they come from and whether they can be replaced with non-arbitrary ways of making decisions.


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