Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...>
On 12/13/2009 4:00 PM, Christy wrote:
The obstacle I am facing at this time is how to parent them....since our priorities seem to be a bit different than those of the Department of Social Services. Anything from eating to sleeping to discipline to school...very different views. I find myself slipping into my authoritarian past and demanding respect---mainly because I feel the pressure to "be" something different than what we are. Plus the girls are coming from a very authoritarian home, so the react negatively to any correction. They also demand things as well--what to eat, to play, to watch on tv...they have been described as children with "attachment issues" and have been treated as such...I think it is hard for most of us to become good unschooling parents ---
doing it with the added stresses of have DSS looking over your shoulder really makes it more difficult. Doing it with THREE children ages 2, 3, and 4 plus a 17 year old seems just extraordinarily hard.
So - if you're determined to do it, more power to you (you'll need it). I do know someone who adopted four young children and has successfully unschooled, so I'm not saying it is impossible. But, she has an extremely involved husband and two sets of very very involved grandparents, too. From the outside, anyway, it looks very difficult. They do seem very very happy, though.
My suggestion to you is to focus on making a "better" choice each time you can. I think that was the most helpful advice I got as a parent of younger kids - it was surprisingly practical and encouraging to simply consider at least two choices and pick the better one. The next time, try to think of the one you did choose and then one other - pick the better one. If you make a choice you're unhappy with, after the fact, think then about what would have been a better choice - have that one "on hand" for next time.
Don't expect to be perfect, but expect yourself to be improving all the time.