-=-I've come to realize that my kids need ME, not just in the same
room, not just nearby, but by my attention and interaction - my full
self.-=-

This is hard for people to get sometimes, but in the instant it became
clear to me I remember thinking "How could I not have known the
difference?" I think it might be easier for bottle-feeding moms to
miss it than for breastfeeding moms, because nursing a baby comes with
a hormonal relaxant and there's no other place to be but right there
when all systems are functioning and a baby is nursing peacefully and
deeply.

There was a chat recently about that very thing, about the quality of
being with a child.
http://sandradodd.com/chats/being

Caren, I'd like to add some of what you've posted today to that page
as a sidebar. It's very powerfully worded:

-=-It's not want, it's NEED. And, you've stated clearly you're not
*with* your children. You're occupying the same space, but YOU - your
attention, your energy - are not with them. You spend time each
morning and evening and at naptime - but if you are not available when
your child needs you (as determined by your child, not you) - you're
creating mistrust.

-=-I believe you believe you're doing the best you can, but awareness
that you're making these choices is very powerful.-=-

Sandra