Re: Anxiery about testing


katherand2003
 

I think divorce avoidance is much MUCH better than divorce, for
children, in most cases.
I think if unschooling is important, marriages should be carefully
maintained.

But still, I thought that paragraph was leading up to a beneficial
ultimatum for the friend-of-poster in question. <g> <<<<

Yeh... what's great in soap operas ain't so hot in real life. :)

I think sometimes things get to this stage (marriages not being
maintained) because the relationship stays on the back burner, and not
always because a spouse who wants to stay together hasn't been trying
to put on it the front burner. It might be hard to believe oneself or
one's problems are REALLY important to a spouse who's been trying but
ineffectively.

And then the feedback loop in that relationship gets well and truly
garbled with the message (ie., one spouse is not important to the
other), and a message which probably wasn't there to begin with, now
getting transmitted to both people. Born of long-held insecurities.
Along with the lack of skills for authentic living. Another simple
uneasy truth.

Some have an easier time maintaining relationships, have better skills
to begin with and/or are compatible enough that few serious conflicts
arise.

~Katherine

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