Re: Alfie Kohn


jenstarc4
 


-=-Work to see your son clearly--not through the skewed vision of a
stereotype. -=-


Wow. That's great!

Negativity is more negative than hope, happiness, joy, humor, trust,
love... Negativity is more negative than anything else!! <bwg>

I like that too! Sometimes when I'm really mad at one of my kids for
whatever reason wether they did something or wether it's just me being a
ninny head, I find the very very best thing for me to do is refocus my
thoughts. It goes something like this... AAAhhh I really hate that she
is behaving that way, ok, but she usually doesn't behave that way, ok,
usually she's really kind and considerate of ..., ok, I like it that she
is like that, that is her true nature, she's kind and considerate, she
must be really in a lot of pain right now to be feeling so yucky as to
lash out and behave in that way, ok, I should go and talk to her with
that beautiful image of her true person in my head and let her know how
much I love her and that if she needs help with anything that I'm there
for her, just say the word.

The shift of seeing my kids as beautiful people with beautiful qualities
helps me focus on that part of their nature and accept that what they
are showing me when they aren't that way isn't really their true nature,
but a temporary reaction to circumstances. The simple thought of seeing
my kids as beautiful rather than tyrannical, allows me to help them with
compassion.

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