huge changes in perspective
Eric Donato <edonato953@...>
Hello, I am recently new here, and just want to share a loosely related experience, showing how I have been changing and how much I appreciate having others for support in unschooling... I am a mom of 3 boys ages 8, 6, 3yrs, homeschooling rather unhappily/ ambivalently for 3-4 years, basically up a creek without a paddle was how I saw myself...
I was at the grocery store today, I normally don't go out on weekends because it is overwhelmingly crowded in Los Angeles, that was my reasoning... yet I had a really great time, which got me thinking about all the rules and expectations I have and don't challenge... one of the reasons I don't challenge my own thinking is that the perspective is just not there, I have no perspective of myself when I am self centered, which I am growing out of slowly and consciously... I am very good at reasoning for control and it has been a struggle for me to let things go, not be right, see things from a different side, a long windy road so far in this life... having babies really brought changes, because well it's impossible to be available for anyone else with my ego taking highest priority... so I have had a very hard time with homeschooling, and unschooling just seemed impossible though I wanted to understand it and get out of my mind trap... I have been working for years to let many personal issues go and just get some peace for myself, and being aware of the kids as they are not how i want them to be... a very wonderful change and the best time of my life really... but what changed things very quickly and rather painlessly was to read the posts and lurk around in this group... there were many arguments and back/ forth posts which I was really interested in due to the intensity of spirit and then the gentle release, to each her/ his own... I never had such articulate arguments or conversations about my thoughts on unschooling... I was trying to think in a giant mushy tangle, I could not get a clear thought, but still did not see how I was having a tough time... listening to all the ideas here has been pivotal for me, and I thought it was so great to go to the grocery store and challenge myself to start something and not know how it would turn out, I found out that my kids can and will shop in a TIGHTLY CROWDED store on a Saturday, are happy getting in and out FAST, and surprise, it was not as bad as I thought... really I believe this experience came from losing the fear of the unknown, that I have too many expectations to meet, they are wholly unnecessary and even if it's worse than I thought, we can go in and find a way to deal with it... this is the problem I had with unschooling, thinking too much for the kids who are fine and not wanting to be analyzed and today it just vanished when we changed our minds...
I hope this makes sense, the ideas came on top of each other... thanks to all who participate and allow me to follow the thought process with you, it's been such a great tool...