ADHD Partner with Gina Pera

Please read thoroughly—before you apply— to learn about the group's purpose and how to complete your application.


After you make the request to join this group, you will receive an auto-send file asking for more information.

For example, your status regarding:  Has your partner already been diagnosed with ADHD, what are your chief challenges and questions, treatment tried thus far etc. 

These details serve three purposes:

1. Help other members respond to you.
2. Help you start to focus on identifying your specific challenges and problem-solving
3. Let other group members know your challenges might be similar to theirs (validation for everyone)

What is ADHD Partner Group?

To be clear:

This is not a couple's group. It is solely for the partners (and sometimes parents and other loved ones) of adults with ADHD.

This is a place to find your voice and validation for your experiences and feelings.

This is NOT the place to ask for education on ADHD. For that,  Gina Pera, the founder and chief moderator,  has written books and blog posts, offers videos and podcasts, and created  online training — see the end of this post for more details. 

She is internationally recognized for her expertise, including in Adult ADHD couple therapy, and is largely credited for putting these issues on the map. Beginning in 2008.

This is not the place to share "interesting links" — no matter how worthwhile.

Again, this is the place to find your voice and speak from your personal experience.

If you want to argue about this, please seek support elsewhere.   This is a no-drama group.

How Does the Group Work?

The group works on your own time—send an e-mail and go about your business; come back later to read responses. When you can, please support and respond to others.

Who Leads ADHD Partner?

Gina Pera founded the group in 2004 and is chief moderator.

Several longtime group members have stepped up to help with the co-moderating.  And we are so grateful.

Is There a Membership Fee?

There's never been a fee for this group. Some people can truly afford nothing but others can.

Therefore each month,  a "suggested donation" request goes out. 

Thank you for acknowledging this rare and long-running source of support with whatever you can afford. And if you can afford nothing, no problem; take care of yourself.

Please note: I have never accepted pharmaceutical-industry support. That makes me a rarity online. It does make a difference in the quality of information.

What is the Group Purpose?

We help each other to acknowledge the particular effect of poorly managed ADHD on the partners (and, in some cases, the parents of adults with ADHD), and to help you find your voice, and take care of yourself.

Please remember: ADHD is a highly variable condition. It often has "traveling companions" (e.g. depression, bipolar disorder, etc.) that add more complexity.  Most adults who have it are not diagnosed.

Many mental-health professionals remain unfamiliar with Adult ADHD, its treatment strategies, and the potential effects on loved ones. This can be especially true for couple (or marital) therapists.

The Internet has become a very sketchy place for learning about ADHD.  Even though you might see the same advice repeated on multiple sites, that does not mean it is good advice.

In fact, the need for a solid couple therapy model was so strong I devoted four solid years to establishing one. With my co-author, Arthur L. Robin, PhD, we created a flexible model that merges the evidence of what works for couple therapy and for Adult ADHD treatment. It's called Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy: Clinical Interventions (Routledge, 2016).

What are the Expectations for Members?

Again, please understand that this group cannot provide you with a foundational education about ADHD.

We expect that members be pro-active in learning about ADHD from reliable sources (you'll receive a recommended list when your application is approved).

Support and validation are invaluable but self-education is critical.


No marketing or sharing of sales or for-profit sites, please.  Doing so will mean removal from the group.

What About Privacy?

We encourage e-mail pseudonyms—so you don't subconsciously "self-censor"—but the choice is absolutely yours. 

What's said in the group stays in the group. Please do not forward or share information outside the group.

If you do not want your name to show in your e-mails to the group, please apply with an e-mail address that does not show your name!  

Attempting this after the fact will require more work on your part.  It is easy but we do not have time to help you with technical matters.

Who is Gina Pera?

I am an internationally recognized Adult ADHD expert
, especially as it can affect relationships.

My 2008 book, Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?, was the first to detail the potential impact of ADHD on the adults themselves and their partners—and to explain evidence-based treatment strategies. Also the first book to explain in-depth the complexity of "denial."

Resources for Learning:

We Look Forward to Welcoming You!

Thank you for your interest in ADHD Partner (formerly at Yahoogroups). 

Gina Pera and moderators

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